Old Familiar

There’s this feeling I can’t shake

Just like an old familiar song

From memories I can’t recall

As dreams I only long

 

Like staring at your image of the mirror way too hard

As if you’re scared you’ll change if you but move

And hate the thought of letting down your guard

As if you know what it’ll prove

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Doubt

I’ve always been so sure of what I know

So stark and strong in my convictions

But I think now that I’m wrong

My truth begins to feel like fiction

 

How will I ever seethe world as right?

When I can’t see my own reflection

I dream about what may or might

So much I’ve become a disconnection

Panic

You know when words feel like a waste of time?

Another thief in action of robbing ‘way your life

And you wake up, wake up at nights

Sweating in your fear of losing time

You know when real life knocks you down?

Like a freight train running at three hundred

You wake up, wake up, lying on the ground

Staring Panic in the eye

Praying God he will go down

You know that’s what I feel right now

Still doubtful in the ‘I’ though

‘I’ don’t feel that real

It’s like a waking up 

– nothing was ever real

Faith

I was wrong

It still bothers me

I was lying when I said it didn’t touch me anymore

 

I was wrong

But so are you

You call your faith ‘the Truth’

You’re lying to me, face to face

 

We’re both wrong

But you are the only one

Who’s vandalising my belief

Can’t you see?

Have you honestly become so blind?

You’re choking every breath I take

But I still try to mend things right

 

You are wrong

To not believe what you call Truth

Is not to be some ‘reckless youth’

I know more than you could possibly conceive

 

You’re wrong

You haven’t even bothered

To reach out and understand

I am through

Done

I won’t try to mend us anymore

 

I hope you live a full and happy life

Trust me,

I will happily live mine

Live

I’d like to believe that someone, somewhere, sometime, that they lived

I mean truly lived

With all the mistakes, all the flaws of Life,

in every imperfectionate piece of what we can obtain

I wish they did

Did whatever made them happy

I wish they carved their names eternal on a tree somewhere

Somewhere they know alone were there

I wish I knew the memories they lived

The lives that now are history, and part of our dying universe

 

I’d like to believe that I would wish to know the story of my life, one day

Perhaps when I’m too weary and too grey

When I’ve lost everything and can’t even recall it

Then I wish I’d somewhere deep down in my soul, I’d know, just how much I truly lived

Friend of Death

He invited Death to stay with him

Because Death forged himself, in through the door

The man just nodded, as if talking to himself

Death was unwelcome, but he’d waited long enough

So he was invited in, free to share the living of this man

Free to share his secrets, sorrows, and to share his shame

 

And so the time went by, whilst Death and Man grew close enough

Close enough as friends

Man was thankful, that he got to call Death ‘friend’

Death was too, perplexed by this rare creature

He had known all humans passing by his hand, known all thoughts that they had shed

This Man was the first he’d ever known when welcomed as his true self

 

Death and Man shared their love of life

Man taught Death what language was the best and how to eat and how to dress

Death taught Man what life ought be about

He wanted him to live before Death claimed him for his own

 

He wanted him to honour Life – as Death had gotten none

Grieving Loss

I thought I grieved the home I once belonged to

I thought I grieved the dead

I have lost myself

I have lost a friend

 

Years have passed, and aged my skin

Still, my heart won’t age a day

It clings to its lost kin

 

There’s no word, no script, enough

I lost myself

I lost too much

And I grieve her everyday

I grieve the girl I called my friend

I grieve, my friend

I don’t recall without you

You stole a lifetime when you left

Now I have nothing left

 

I don’t want to pretend

I don’t want to go on alone

I just want this to end

I just want to go home

 

I thought I grieved the future I had lost

The dreaming I gave up

I thought I grieved the day me being dead

 

It only took til now to know she’s dead

Broken Dream

I build a body of your words

An armor of your promises

I make a silhouette for you to host

You’re but a ghost

To me

 

I try to tell myself

I never felt

But not even my self is falling for that lie

I cannot lie

I cannot turn my being on itself

 

Sometimes I doubt if it was ever real at all

The evidence against it bears too strong a charge

I fall for its conviction

Lulled in by its fiction

By the grace

By the satisfying gravity of falling for a lie

I cannot lie

 

I mold a figure for your soul

A painted picture of your being

Designed into perfection inch by inch

I can’t unhinge you from my memory

 

I cannot light the life in you

Your perfect silhouette

Is disgustingly dead

 

I try to kill the lingering of you

Which will take my life it seems

The echo I once knew as you

Tell me nothing but

That of a broken dream